Yarn Man and the Case of the Japanese Army of Cute Little Jpop Pockettes

Yarn Man and the Case of the Japanese Army of Cute Little Jpop Rockettes

In his home on the beach in Malibu, California mild manner David Arquette is working on his latest knitting project. David feverishly produced a long pink scarf for his new book “72 Pink Scarves Using the Garter Stitch”.

“Master Arquette, a crate has arrived for you.” stated a British accent from the corridor. Arquette gently placed his needles on the coffee table and bounded out of the room. Standing next to a large wooden crate was his butler, played by Micheal Caine, and his wife Courtney.

David took a pry bar from Caine and began to wrench the box open.

“May I ask what you are expecting from Jimmy Buffet? And does it have anything to do with the crate you go from Kurt Russel?” asked Caine who was afraid to ask.

“Kurt sent me a couple assault rifles. If Jimmy came through for me these are his special modified surface to air missiles. The Govonator is going to give me an Austrian Tank.” gleefully stated David feverishly opening his box of new toys.

“I though I told you there are no weapons in the house.” demanded Courtney. “You can have then in your Top Secert Yarn Stash head quarters, but, not in the house.

“I’m sorry baby. I can’t have things delivered to the secret underground caves.”

“Have you been trained in the use of these weapons?” asked Caine as Arquette pulled out a small missile.

“I went over to Kurt’s house last weekend and shot some Gophers with him and Bill Murray. We use hand grenades.”

“David, you told me you were golfing.” yelled Courtney punching him in the arm.

“Hey I made a bunch of holes.”

“Don’t let him blow up the house.” ordered Courtney as she walked away from the pair.

“Hey, you weren’t nearly killed by Elisabeth Zimmerman you don’t understand what evil is.”

“No Master Arquette she only understands strange.” drolly stated Caine as he went about helping David take his weapons down to his secret lair.

Half way across the continent in Davenport, Iowa a group of knitting grannies were meeting in a tea house. The clacking of metal needles could be heard all over the small store front. The knitting world was still in shock over the attack in Pittsburgh by Gary Bussey and a six story tall Elisabeth Zimmerman Cyborg. They went about happily knitting their Christmas presents sure that something so horrific could not happen in their small Midwest town.

Down Kimberly Avenue on the bad side of life was going on as usually in the wretched slums of Davenport. Drugs were being sold and hookers plied their trade. On the desolate main drag a pink bus adorned with Japanese Characters pulled up.

“Dang where did this whacked thing some from!” exclaimed one of the delinquents on the street.

A side door swung open and two small Japanese teen in pink jump suits stepped onto the street. The assembled miscreants begun to giggle and laugh at the teens.

“Where are your knitters?” they demanded, the locals only continued to laugh. The twins did not take kindly to laughter.

The one on the left retrieved a remote control from her jump suit and hit a couple buttons. More doors on the bus opened and figures identical to the twins in metallic costumes stepped onto the streets rushing the small band of youths…….