Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Hello Belgium

Welcome Belgium glad you could stop by. I like the idea of a country that speaks three different languages. It is like going to Florida in the United States. Except in Florida you have Spanish, English and Really bad English. It is just a bit more charming than the way you do it over here. Well thank you for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed yourself. Merci, Dank u, Danke.

And World Knitting News Fans. My Clown Troop had a show and I spent the entire day prepping for it. I had no time to do anything. Since Yarn Man is already written for tommarrow I should have time to put it in well I suppose it is today.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Hello Korea

I had my second or third visitor from South Korea today. Well I think that earns our friends across the Pacific a place on the flag button chart. I must admit that I do not know a lot about Korea except for what Koreans I have met have told me. I have not done any traveling on the other side of the Pacific. I do know that Kim Chi is too hot for me to eat.

Well Joy Sim 좋은 날. If I said it wrong the computer told me that was how it was supposed to go. And I have been getting the same errors while trying to publish.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


Well no Lance Lawson this week. I found this article about some winners from a few years back. By the way please do not tell us if you entered this contest.

It was proven that he had lice at the time. I wonder why there is not a win a Lock of Kfed's Hair Contest?

Make sure you visit Stephieface. Last weeks Lance Lawson Sweestakes winner.


Jerry on the Job

More Helpful Hints for our Service People out there from WWI

By the way Pray for the troop.

Bob the Squirrel

Coffee Nerves Part II

Alright this one was just plain silly.

Savage Chicken

That Other Jerry Cartoon
Thank you for stopping by I hope you enjoyed the Cartoons this week.

Hi New Zealand, thank for stopping by.

It Needed Knitting - More Visitors

Just a couple notes about progress on the evil plan to take over the world with funny needles. This is a swatch for a baby blanket that needs making. Those of you that are from Texas know what I mean. Anyway this is the first real project to be made on the experimental needles.

So far it is going well. The finish on the needles is holding up. These needles are also 20 inches long. I suppose that is part of my knitting roots working with absurdly long needles. Well at this point it looks as if there is a slight advantage to these needles if you use them a certain way.

Using the tip to grab the yarn means one does not have to move the needles quite as much to get the yarn when knitting continental style. If it is going to require people to change their knitting style then it is probably worthlerss as a money maker. Well I will make the blanket with it and see how they hold up. If anything else the almond shaped tips should create more abuse than regular tips. This will at least give me an opportunity to give the finish a good testing.

On the visitor front I have had a acouple people from Spain visit. Bunos Dias, ?Como estas.? Estoy bein aqui.

I also have a couple visits from our international banking freinds the Swiss. I'm glad you could stop by. My wife would gladly trade my life for an unlimited supply of your chocolate. Perhapse, I should not be so happy that you are stopping. Well she doeesn't read this thing anyway. Still, keep your yummy confections away from her I value my life.

Well be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Lance Lawson Sweepstakes Winner

Once again it is time for the winner of the Lance Lawson Sweepstakes. This week it is none other than Stephieface from the Stephieface Knitting Blog.

Besides being a Drop Kick Murphy fan she as also a member of another exclusive club that only three hundred thousand or so are part of. Namely residents of the greatest city on Earth, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Not Pittsburg Texas, New Hampshire, California, Kansas or even Pittsburg Country Oklahoma, but Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I have been to Pittsburg County and Pittsburg Texas and New Hampshire. It is not that they are not nice. They are just missing that certain something called an “H”. I could spend all day on this but this entry is about Stephieface.

Steph has a special argyle theme. It is really neat and a pain to down load. I always admired people that have the dedication to do something really nice with their blog. My Scottish Ancestry favors Clann Gunn and we prefer our tartan oriented the proper way. Still it is a new millennium and alternative styles must be tolerated.

As for people doing something nice with their blog, her’s is clean and tidy. One entry at a time is displayed. I hate people that clutter up their blog with all sorts of silly things. What is the point of going to a knitting blog if they do not talk about knitting and have pictures of their current projects? There is simply nothing worse than to have all sorts of irrelevant things you have to wade through to read about knitting content. Well I digress.

More importantly her blog is just the right mix of knitting content and family stuff. Today one of the munchkins is working up to a Fourth Birthday. There are cute pictures of the little squirt as an even smaller little squirt.

Well get out there and visit Stephieface it is everything a knitting blog should be.


What are you still doing here? Go and visit the Stephieface Blog, the clown demands it. Oh, the clown demanding it is not god enough. Please, Please, Please go visit her blog. I think she knows where I live. By the way if you don’t hear from me again she did not like this entry. But I shall be avenged by my funny brothers and sisters. Vive le Roi. Sorry, I am channeling a spirit from a French Soldier fighting the Revolutionaries. Don’t tell me how the French Revolution turned out I want to be surprised.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Odds & Ends

I have been working on different types of tips for needles. I have noted there is not a great deal of difference in knitting needle tips. Well I have started experimenting with needle types. Here I have the first two needles. One is a small almond shape on a neck the other is larger. Going english style I did not notice much difference. When I switched to Continental style I noticed that these needles were able to grab the yarn fairly easily.

I am going to knit some more with and see how it goes. There is another baby that needs a blanket out there. Anyway. These are 8 mm (number 11) and they are 20 inches long. I made them from oak just to experiment with a wood that you do not see wooden needles made from.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Viewer Mail II

The first question came from someone that attends the Hive Knitting group. They wanted to know where to get a Peter Max Paper Air Plane Book. The answer is I don’t know. I did take the picture and print it out and make this plane. There you go I am sticking it to the man. Even though the man is a 60’s icon of not being the man.

The second question is about the Hive Knitting Group. They wanted to know if Hive Knitting is one word or two. Um……… It is two.

The third question is what at the white things attached to my projects when I take picture of them? Those are clothes pins. There is a curtain on the wall in my secret underground knitting and writing studio. I pin up the objects to take pictures of them.

The fourth question is do I look like Mark Hamil? Um…… No, I am much younger, and not blond, and have a beard. That is really a strange little question. I would never have though to ask someone that. I would post a picture of myself, but what fun would that be.

The fifth question is have you ever knit something for an animal? The answer is yes, a couple Dog Sweaters, Felted Horse Blankets, Hat for a Vietnamese Pot Bellied Pig and a vest for a Capuchin Monkey. At least that is what I can remember off the top of my head. I did not knit a sweater for a rabbit. I just thought it was a cool picture. And today is Rabbit Day.

The sixth question is do you have an evil plan to take over the knitting world? I am glad someone asked that. The answer is sort of. I have been working on experimental needles. I am trying to figure out a new tip design or work with old ones. I wanted to make a buck at knitting in some way. I can not spin yarn like the Natasha and there are not enough Pot Bellied Pigs out there to knit for. So maybe I can make a revolutionary needle. Well this is the current set I am working on. I will be posting more about them later when I have some time in knitting with them. I suppose that is not much of an evil plan. Still, I am preoccupied with silly threats from Klingons over at the Scifi KAL. If you knew me you would not really be surprised about the Klingon thing.

Anyway if you have a question email me at zeeppo_the_great@yahoo.com or post on this comment. I will answer the ones that are not too offensive. Heck I might even answer offensive comments but not those posted in Klingon.

Rabbit Day

This is Alba the Rabbit. This poor little guy was created by the French. They spliced his genes with those of a jelly fish so that he would glow in the dark. I am not sure what this gained them I suppose it was one of those we have to try it so we know we can do it sort of things. Well for those that were wondering if we could make a rabbit glow in the dark. Now you know.

Happy Rabbit Day.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Yarn Man and the Case of the Japanese Army of Cute Little Jpop Pockettes

Yarn Man and the Case of the Japanese Army of Cute Little Jpop Rockettes

In his home on the beach in Malibu, California mild manner David Arquette is working on his latest knitting project. David feverishly produced a long pink scarf for his new book “72 Pink Scarves Using the Garter Stitch”.

“Master Arquette, a crate has arrived for you.” stated a British accent from the corridor. Arquette gently placed his needles on the coffee table and bounded out of the room. Standing next to a large wooden crate was his butler, played by Micheal Caine, and his wife Courtney.

David took a pry bar from Caine and began to wrench the box open.

“May I ask what you are expecting from Jimmy Buffet? And does it have anything to do with the crate you go from Kurt Russel?” asked Caine who was afraid to ask.

“Kurt sent me a couple assault rifles. If Jimmy came through for me these are his special modified surface to air missiles. The Govonator is going to give me an Austrian Tank.” gleefully stated David feverishly opening his box of new toys.

“I though I told you there are no weapons in the house.” demanded Courtney. “You can have then in your Top Secert Yarn Stash head quarters, but, not in the house.

“I’m sorry baby. I can’t have things delivered to the secret underground caves.”

“Have you been trained in the use of these weapons?” asked Caine as Arquette pulled out a small missile.

“I went over to Kurt’s house last weekend and shot some Gophers with him and Bill Murray. We use hand grenades.”

“David, you told me you were golfing.” yelled Courtney punching him in the arm.

“Hey I made a bunch of holes.”

“Don’t let him blow up the house.” ordered Courtney as she walked away from the pair.

“Hey, you weren’t nearly killed by Elisabeth Zimmerman you don’t understand what evil is.”

“No Master Arquette she only understands strange.” drolly stated Caine as he went about helping David take his weapons down to his secret lair.

Half way across the continent in Davenport, Iowa a group of knitting grannies were meeting in a tea house. The clacking of metal needles could be heard all over the small store front. The knitting world was still in shock over the attack in Pittsburgh by Gary Bussey and a six story tall Elisabeth Zimmerman Cyborg. They went about happily knitting their Christmas presents sure that something so horrific could not happen in their small Midwest town.

Down Kimberly Avenue on the bad side of life was going on as usually in the wretched slums of Davenport. Drugs were being sold and hookers plied their trade. On the desolate main drag a pink bus adorned with Japanese Characters pulled up.

“Dang where did this whacked thing some from!” exclaimed one of the delinquents on the street.

A side door swung open and two small Japanese teen in pink jump suits stepped onto the street. The assembled miscreants begun to giggle and laugh at the teens.

“Where are your knitters?” they demanded, the locals only continued to laugh. The twins did not take kindly to laughter.

The one on the left retrieved a remote control from her jump suit and hit a couple buttons. More doors on the bus opened and figures identical to the twins in metallic costumes stepped onto the streets rushing the small band of youths…….

Monday, October 23, 2006

World Knitting News II

Paris, France Trendy Fashions designers begin using Red Heart when unscrupulous store merchant sells it for seventy two dollars a skein.

Glasgow – Scotland Depression clinic goes bankrupt when it is discovered there are no depressed people in Scotland. They are all simply Scottish not unhappy.

Philadelphia – Pennsylvania – United States Group of Patriot Knitters are arrested while trying to place a cozy they knit on the Liberty Bell.

Tallahassee – Florida – United States writer of this blog discovers the name Tallahassee is in Microsoft Word’s Spell Check.

Vladivostok – Russia Nothing funny has happened here since August 3rd 1952.

Hollywood – Kalifornia – United States David Arquette is planning his own book of celebrity scarves. It will be entitled “72 Pink Scarves Using the Garter Stitch”

Tokyo- Former Japanesse Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi is discovered to be a closet knitter. Not only does he knit closets but it is rumored that he is working on a Rhine Stone Jump Suit made of Noro for his next visit to Graceland.

You ever have one of those days?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Just a short comment about a project I am starting. I am working on a felted knitting needle case. These three sample swatches before they are felted.

I am going to do a little duplicate stitching on them to decorate them. This is another part of my quest to do some manly knitting stuff. The numbers are the needle sizes they were made on.

I also wanted to show you are a disturbing craft that I came across. It is a Hippie Paper Air Plane. I kid you not. It is from a book produced by Hippies. Take a look at the cover of the book. They tell you to respect the Earth by not littering it with the airplane that you made. You can kill trees to make this dumb book but for the love of God do not leave the paper airplanes on the street.

If you thought that was scary you should see the advertisement I found out there.

Yep there it is Clown Brand Cigarettes. Well everyone remember don’t smoke your clowns. There are only so few of us left these days. Respect your clowns and the planet. Do not litter with clowns either. Love the Earth Man.

Oh And I will be answering some viewer mail this week so get your emails in at zeeppo_the_great@yahoo.com .Oh and for those Klingons out there leave George the Destroyers alone. They did nothing to you. Go back to eating your half dead worms. And maybe you can get some gloves with fingers or perhaps a comb. Don’t make me come over there and settle you down. You know I will.

Be safe out there and keep you stick on the ice.

A Couple Quick Comments

Just a mention about Singapore. Five different people have visited from there in the last couple days. Just wanted to say welcome. A couple folks stayed for hours. Well thank you for the read and please do not check my spelling or grammar.

Well I just needed a Lance Lawson head for the Side Bar.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Sunday Comics

Lance Lawson
It is time for our second installment of the Lance Lawson Sweepstakes. You can see our winner from last week bellow. By the way check out Donna's, I'm sorry, Donnaz blog at:

Post you solution to the Lance Lawson comic in the comment section this entry. The winner will be featured on Friday on this Blog.

What hath Jerry Wrought

By the way this is how my wife picks my shirts. I do not like buying shirts it always leaves a mark. She is always very happy after she has ought me five or six shirts. I usually have a headache afterward. She claims they will fit better if she bounces my head off the floor at Kmart. Still, what ever makes my little buttercup happy.

My Coffee Nerves

This is the first of three parts from this landmark comic about the evils of Coffee. You hear that Hippies in the Coffee Shops. Drink tea or you are going to loose your children because of the evil brew that you are chugging.

Savage Chicken

By the way someone {I will not mention who} wants to know where you can get one of those things they freeze dried Han Solo with {Yes Carol, I asked them, now let me do the typing}.

Norm and Company
My report card had "F"s and "E" as well.

Bob the Squirrel

By the way I am looking for more comics and viewer mail. I was hoping to have a viewer mail secton as well. Unfortunately in six months I have only received seven emails. And four of those had a lot of profanity demanding that I love wool. And there was the very rude one from the estate of Elisabeth Zimmerman. Anyway send me an email or post a comment. I will answer just about any question that is not terribly rude. Well who am I kidding I will even answer the rude ones {I might edit them or paraphrase. Someone sent me one in Klingon. And my Klingon translation program was written by a Dr Who fan that I do not think knows Klingon. Any way I am fairly sure it was rude. But then again so was what the Klingon was doing to rock and roll}.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

New Super Sized Savage Chicken.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Lance Lawson Sweepstakes Winner - New Visitors

It is time to announce the Winner of the Lance Lawson Sweepstakes. This is an over blown way of saying that I will feature your blog today and place a link to it in a special section on the Side Bar. By the way I am still building the special section if you do not see it tonight.

Without further ado the winner is Donna from Donnaz Chaos. There is a lot to like about this blog. Not only does Donna have a double consonant in her name but she uses a “z” instead of an “’s”. The rules of grammar and punctuation do not apply here. And I love people that fly in the face of them.

It does look as if Happy Hour may be the cause of Donnaz Chaos. Although I am sure that it is a Virgin Daqueri. For those of the Parrot Knitting Persuasion it is Happy Hour in Margarittaville over there and they are not wasting away. They are on a whirle wind adventure in California or KALIFONIA if the Govonator is reading this {Hey is you don't like the Arnold jokes you could have elected Gary Colman}.

More than that she features one of my favorite things in the world, a sock monkey. In addition she is exceptionally kind to her sock monkey, she travels with him. Look here he is on a train.

Look here he is with his own seat. Now that is a good sock monkey owner. She bought him his own seat.

And she bought him his own bottle of liquor. Hey wait a minute is that monkey old enough to drink?

And here he is passed out on the bed. Well there is just nothing more shameful than a monkey that cannot hold his liquor. It is good thing he was with a loving owner and not passed out in some frat house, or worse in the care of a Congressman.

And for those of you that think I am making this up go there and see it for yourself. She really does have a drunken sock monkey. I would not lead you astray.

This is great example of the diverse and sometime quirky world of Knitting. And more than that it is a good read.

Visit this Bloog is it Neato and a Cool Blog


By the way her answer was that no one stated that it was posin. Lance only asked if they knew what the bottle was and he was covering the label. So only if they were the killer would they know it was cyanide.

Onto a couple other visitors, namely, Malaysia. A few folks have visited from there in the last couple days. Well enough to warrant their own little flag bubble on the side bar thing. Kudos to your good taste or abundant spare time. By the way really cool flag.

For no good reason I would like to note that no one has visited from either Japan or South Africa. If you know anyone there tell them about me. You don't have to say nice things. I just think they should be warned that people like me are out there.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Follow me at zeeppo on the twitter gizmo