Thursday, November 30, 2006

Rabbit Day - Yay - Jackalope

The Jackalope (Lepus-temperamentalus) is one of the rarest animals in the world. A cross between a now extinct pygmy-deer and a species of killer-rabbit, they are extremely shy unless approached. None have ever been captured alive and this rare photo (often criticized as fake) shows a mighty buck about to strike. Known by the ancients as "deerbunnies", it wasn't until the early 1960's that the modern more fearsome name of "jackalope" was adopted. It is written that you can extract the Jackalope's milk as it sleeps belly up at night. The milk is belived to be medicinal and can be used to treat a variety of afflictions. The truth is these creatures are aggressive and unpredictable, and should not be provoked for any reason!

I was attacked by a Jackalope while waiting in a Starbucks in Omaha. By the way that is why I no longer go into the
Starbucks type places. That and they do not have decent tea.
Well it is mostly about being attack by a rabbit with horns.

They really need to have warning signs.

Be safe out there, watch out for horned varmits, and keep your stick on the ice.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Baby Hats

For some reason the picture of that cute little boy has made me wonder. I understand that having a little hat is good for a baby. We live in a truly great nation because the most helpless among us get a hat. Once again this is not a knitting thing. Still, any nation that gives their babies free hats is a truly great place. I salute the baby hat giving nations of the Earth.


It this not the cutest little baby that you have ever seen? This has nothing to do with knitting, still, that is a cute little baby. It just had to mentioned.

Hey Parents make sure you get one of these little Dolls. I bet Gloria & Christopher would love one of these.

Monday, November 27, 2006


I did not get home till super late. Hive Knitting went until after 11. We had some more triple knitting this evening. We had like fifty people there. Well not really fifty, still it was special. For long time readers of this blog may remember when I started this group. The first meeting the group had four women show up. The next week not a single one of them showed up again. I figured that I scared them all off. Well for nearly a year not a single one of them has come back.

A lady who came to that first meeting came back today. I feel much better knowing that I did not offend them all. At least one of them was not totally disturbed by me.

On knitting news the new super scarf is plugging along. We had three people working on it again. Oh and other clown knitting stuff I did speak with the person in charge of the Pittsburgh Yarn Festival type thing today. And to my surprise she was not totally repulsed by the idea of knitting clowns showing up for their conference. I find that if I expect people to hate my guts they it is a pleasant surprise when someone does not. It does not happen very often, still, it is nice when it happens.

Anyway back to the Yarn Extravaganza. She is willing to talk about letting us have a table at the Yarn-o-Rama. She also wants to include us in other aspect of the Yarn-a-Palusa. I am excited that she does not want to hide us in a closet. That is what my wife like to do when company comes over.

Well I sorry I do not have more time. It is getting late and I have to work on occasion.

be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Not Much Acomplished Knitting

I did not get much knitting done today. I did play around with the Beta Blogger thing again. It looks as if they have set it up like Word Press. I have started putting together a blog for the Yarn Man Adventures. I should have it put together this weekend.

I attended a birthday for Ddancer. I am currently at about five feet for the new Long scarf. Several people knitted on it at the party and at one point three people were knitting on it at the same time. I will have picture of it in the next day or two. I do think there are more pictures of it floating around on other blogs than there are on my blog. The first section of braid is now finished and it appears that the measurements are correct and the braid is fairly tight with out being too tight. It also has a very nice three dimensional effect.

Well be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Portugal Hello

Just a note that I had three hits from Portugal today. Well that makes the Iberian Peninsula complete. I am not sure what that gets me but there should be something.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Rabbit Day - The Swamp Rabbit

Today's rabbit gained fame when it supposely attacked Jimmy Carter while he was fishing. Personally I think old Jimmy had is coming. He was probably doing something wrong. Well that was enough to gain him a spot on my list of great rabbits.

Bellow is a picture of Jimmy Carter savagely attacking this poor little bunny.

More Countries

Just a couple notes about some visitors to the blog.

First I found a button for Israel. I have had a couple folks from that area visit recently.

A couple folks have visited from Morroco. This was the best button I could find.

In the last week I have had my first few visitor from India. This is another nation that I have already had visitors from but did not have a button.

Some back up Chicken

The First Long Scarf

Yesterday was the start of a knitting odyssey for the Steel Valley Clown Brigade. The Brigade began their first long scarf. We are shooting for 90 feet with the little guy. It was thirty stitches cast on. It will then go to ten stitch garter stitched strips that will be braided together. The braided sections will be three feet long with four inch block. This design will make the braiding stable enough that we will be able use it as a prop for sketches. It will also give the scarf a unique look. To the best of my knowledge this sort of design has never been used for such a prop.

It is knit in Red Heart Mexicana and pictured you can see myself and Troop Adjutant knitting on it at the same time.

The knitting of this scarf will at times be done my three people at once. It is something that every member of the troop will have a hand in doing. Very few knitting projects are communal like this one will be. These scarves have a special place in the creation of a Clown Group. As the first one we are making it will have a special place in the history of our group.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Computer Stuff & Charity Knitting

Adventure in knitting have been complicated with computer adventures. A rather odd virus has been bothering my computer.

I am still having trouble posting pictures. It would be super nice if they would fix their gizmo. I am getting used to using the Word Press version of Blogger. It appears that they are more stable. I don’t want to switch but I may not have a choice at this rate.

On an actual knitting front I have email the person in charge of the Pittsburgh Knitting Conference, or Yarn Show. I asked for a Booth for Charity Knitting. I even offered to be entertaining if it would help. I have already spoke with the Clown Brigade and they are more than willing to help out.

If we are allowed to have a booth it should be entertaining. I recall going to a Yarn Festival many years ago with a group of clowns. There was the male thing that was even more novel back then. We also had nine guys going about in a group knitting. There were people that nearly had heart attacks. According to my mentor he was attacked by Elisabeth Zimmerman at a Yarn Show. Well knowing B it was probably the other way around. He was an avid English Style Knitter who was put off by my desire to knit Continental Style.

As for the Clown Brigade practice goes on as usual and we are getting ready for the Spring which is traditionally the start of the busy season for such groups. Like the troop I came from everyone is working in a production skill. In our case we have all concentrated on Knitting. I don’t think I have ever been part of a troop were ever member knit. It is very interesting. If I ever get a real digital camera I will have to take pictures of one of our practices.

On the personal knitting front all of the knitting I have been doing is for presents. If I talk about them I will give away the surprise. So I will have to wait till I have something no present related.

I just had a brilliant idea. I very nice lady that works with me want a scarf. I should knit her one using that woven pattern that was in the last Vogue Knitting. Well something like that woven pattern. I will putter around with it and change it some. I have not done anything like that in years. I suppose it is off to Knit 1 for some Super Wash in the near future.

There is knitting at the Waterfront today and I am getting ready to head out that way. I will finish up a secret project I am working on today. I should get some feed back from them.

Well everyone have a good day. I will post Yarn Man this evening. Everybody be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Sunday Adventures

has been an insanely busy week. In addition to that I have had issues with Blogger and various other little things. If I have any fans out there I apologies. Despite craziness in getting on the computer knitting has continued none the less. I have several items that are tumbling in the washer as we speak. Even though I may not be the biggest fan on wool and natural fibers I do like felting. I have made a few little people and a couple box type things to be felted.

On other fronts the attempts to find employment in knitting continue to fail. Apparently no one needs a knitting teaching in Allegheny County. Well what can I do? I gave it a shot. I suppose I will have to make a buck on the making knitting needles. It is odd. I have always been able to find a way to do the things I want to in the past. I suppose knitting is just different.

Off on a slight tangent, has anyone heard Christina Aguilera song Candyman. I have always liked the big band thing. Maybe I was born in the wrong decade. Well at least she is fully clothed in the video. I did have a friend from Africa joke that American Women can not afford enough clothing and he wondered what we did in the Winter. Thank you Brittany Spears. Ah and Evanesence video came on the Yahoo video thing. Tortured Brunette angst. Amy Lee has a much better angst than Tori Amos. A love Tori Amos but sometimes after a few of her songs I look out over the three rivers and wonder how one gets to the top of one of the Bridges to throw myself off.

Back to knitting the good folks at the Knit 1 had another bag of objects knit for Charity Knitting. The whole Charity Knitting thing has been a lot more productive than I thought it would be. I figured it would yield a dozen or so items a month. It continues to surprise me at the amount of things people make. Today’s haul yielded a couple baby blankets a half dozen scarves and a couple sets of baby booties and caps. And that has only been in the last week or so. Well I would like to thank the Knit 1 people for hosting this and the countless generous people of Pittsburgh who are knitting for it.

Well those were my for today. Being that I have the better part of this week off I should have no problem getting all of my postings in.

Be safe out there and keep you stick on the ice.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Carless workers and Blogger stalling out have kept me from posting. I will have time and hope this thing will be working tommarrow.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Further Experiments

Just a couple random notes about this and that. Firstly I have noted that the United Kingdom has caught up with Australia as far as visitors go. They may even get close to supplanting Canada as the second most populace nation to visit this blog. I am not sure what this tells me about the knitting or blogging world in general. Still, it an interesting fact to note. I suppose since this blog is in English it would make sense that English speaking nations would be at the top of the list. If that is the case then there must be a lot of English speaking people in Finland, that is also moving quickly up the list. If anyone else has insights into this I would like to know.

Blogger is still having trouble posting multiple pictures. I have resorted to signing up for a photobucket account. This is super inefficient for the Sunday Comics. For those of you who know my church know this is a super busy time. I am also considering another blog that will house some of the less knitting relevant things that I go on about. With blogger being such a pain I have considered dumping it all together. Well blogger not the blog.

Onto knitting things I did not get a chance to do much today. I lament that I may not get a chance to do much in the next couple months. I worked on a bit of a scarf and experimented by felting a swatch. I am going to make some little people and felt them. I have a couple of the people finished and will felt them when I get the time.

I have also been using the experimental wooden needles for a couple weeks now. The finish is still good and think it may be time for the next phase. I figure the next phase will be to make some relatively normal needles and give them to some people to try out. From what I have read about people who are making their own needles their finishes do not sound that great. Most use some kind of latex paint and I have not read of anyone using the process that I am. Still, it is good to see that it is working. Perhaps the people I have read about do not have much wood working experience. Maybe they are just doing it for yucks. Well at any rate further experimentation is what is called for.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Rabbit Day - Rabbit of Caerbannog

Caution this famous rabbit may be too graphic for young children. This is the first killer rabbit to be listed on this blog. This Rabbit made his first appearance in the Monty Python Movie Holly Grail.

The truth is much stanger. This rabbit really does exists and his kind has been deffending his region for hundred of years. So while in Caerbannog beware. There are Killer Rabbits about.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

A Wonderful Day - All Floors Must Die

A wonderful day was had knitting. Three of the knitters I have been teaching at Hive Knitting were able to make the Waterfront Knitting group. We were also able to hit the Michael’s in the Waterfront as well. Among our little group were three male knitters. It is truly fun hitting a yarn isle in a big box craft store with the guys. A single male can be ignored. Or it can be assumed they are buying stuff for their wife. Three guys talking about projects and yarn types is just a little freaky. The staff stops and looks, women with their children hide in the next isle.

Well it was not that dramatic, still, it was cool.

The blogger is still having trouble uploading pictures. I was only able to get one up. I have a bib to post and progress to show. I am unhappy.

The only picture I did get up was this one of a caster from my knitting case. From those of you that I have visited you may know about the olive green fishing tackle box I keep my stuff in. In this case I am able to keep three sets of needles, several skeins of yarn, books, chattering plastic teeth, some pencil balloons, a balloon pump, notebooks and a few other things. I have several people I am teaching and the odd child that needs a balloon. I won this thing as a door prize at last year’s Christmas Party.

Up and till then I was stuffing what I could in a gym bag or my Apparatus Bag {Juggling Bag}. I immediately pressing this thing into service as my new knitting tote {well it was new then}. This thing has been abused in ways that the manufacturer never though of. I do not drive, so I take it everywhere on the bus. It has been there for every step of the world tour and everyone I taught to knit in the last year. This thing now looks like it has been through the entire European Campaign of WWII.

Beside the appearance the only things that it is truly lacking is a good set of wheels. Today I purchased the seventh set of wheels for this thing. The original wheels snapped off after only three weeks. I cut off what was left of them and started putting on casters. Every other month I have put on a different set to try and find a set that will work. This is picture of the most recent wheel to be destroyed.

As always I am open to suggestions. I even found a set of steel wheeled caster that would probably tear up every floor they run across. Well, sacrifices must be made for knitting. And if every piece of linoleum I walk across must die then so be it.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

A Couple of Notes - Charity Knitting - Hello Iowa

Just a couple of notes before I go off to knitting and practice today.

Number one the Charity Knit people have been super charitable. In the last few week they have made three large shopping backs full of items for our shelter. It is full of baby afgans scarves hats and the like. I will be meeting with the new Shelter Director soon so I can get an updated list on what is needed. I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone that knitted or crocheted for this project thus far. I also want to thank Knit 1 for hosting the event.

There are a couple more country updates that I will do officially when I get the little button flag things for those nations. I continue to be amazed by the number of people from all over the world that get to this thing through google. Maybe I will have to start writting the occassional useful item.

I have also just found a nice little blog called the Iowa Chicks Knitting. The only requirement was that you had lived in Iowa at some point. Heck I have lived in almost every state for at least a week at one point or another. In Iowa I actually had an apartment and I worked there. That makes it like a second home to a Gypsy like me.

The blog is in Word Press that I never used before. I posted a test comment to make sure I was posting correctly and it posted. I also don't know how to take it down. So my first post there is a goofy test comment. Well they let me post there so they must be used to goofy. Still, Iowa is one of those places that is a little different in general. I think they like it that way. Well, Hello Iowa. And if anyone is reading this from Iowa I will be in the Davenport area for Christmas. Are there any good groups meeting that week?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Yarn Man and the Case of theJapanese Army of Cute Little Jpop Rockettes - Part 3

As Colonel Molson discussed the crime scene with a Davenport Police officer they heard a rumbling from overhead. Instinctively Molson looked toward a jet as it slowly descended vertically in a parking lot yards from where he was standing. He instantly recognized it as a modified Harrier Jump Jet. Instead of the Marine Corps marking he knew a bright aquamarine “YM” was painted across the jet’s pink tail fin.

“What in San Juan Hill is that?” grumped the Colonel as he stopped toward the jet.

As the Colonel made it to the curb the canopy on the jet slid open and man clad in pink with an aquamarine mask climbed down a ladder that flopped out from a hidden compartment.

As he reached the ground a golden retriever stuck her head out of the cock pit and looked down at her master. Yarn man extended his arm and Yarn dog jumped down to him. As Yarn Man placed his dog on the ground Colonel Molson was tapping him in the shoulder.

“What and the hell are you?”

“Yarn Man and this is my faithful side kick Yarn Dog.” stated Yarn Man with a broad smile extending his hand to the Colonel.

“Son what exactly is wrong with you?” asked Molson looking over his outfit.

“Dude, check with Homeland Security I am supposed to be here.”

“This is the yarn expert?” asked the Colonel looking to the plain clothes detective from the Davenport Police department.

The detective nodded in the affirmative and Molson turned back to Yarn Man.

“What can you tell us about this?” asked the Colonel reluctantly.

At that Yarn dog ran across the side walk and over to a hunk of wire in the street. Yarn man quickly followed picking up the piece of wire when he got there.

“Your right Yarn Dog, this is made on the Titanium Wonder Knitter.”

“What is a wonder knitter?” As the Colonel as he followed Yarn Man

“It is a top secret knitting device stolen from the Clover Needlecraft Corporation. I was told there were some Morning Musume CDs left behind.”

“Yes the two leaders appear to be members of this group.” stated the colonel.

“It is a smoke screen.” stated Yarn Man.

“This is one involved smoke screen.”

“Yes, where is the Jpop army now?” asked Yarn Man looking at the billowing smoke from down the street.

“They are a mile down this road. They have set up a defensive position in a strip mall. They have thirty busses that have converged on that position. The local police appear to have them cornered.”

“Do you have transport?” asked Yarn Man.

The Colonel nodded and gestured over to a Humvee.

“And why does Homeland Security allow a loonie in pink out fit to fly around the country in a Harrier?”

“Because there are evil forces out there trying to take over the knitting world.”

“No offence son, but are you smoking something?” asked the Colonel as he got in the back of his Hummer.

“Were are the rest of your troops?” asked Yarn Man as he let Yarn Dog into the Hummer.

“I command the Rock Island Arsenal. I only have 250 troops. Besides it is illegal for the Armed Forces to operate within U.S. territory without a Presidential Order.” stated the Colonel as the Hummer began down the half destroyed street.

“You had better call the President and get that permission.”

Down the street what little bit there was of the Davenport Police Department was hiding behind what cover they could find. As the Colonel and his troops arrived the Iowa State Police were also just arriving on the scene.

The brightly colored armored bussed were lined up on a semi circular patter in the parking lot of the strip mall. The strip mall itself completed the fortification. Yarn Man knew that this meant trouble. They were planning to stay wether the good people of Iowa wanted them to or not.

“Do you have a weapons son? Are you mentally stable enough to handle a weapon?”

As the Colonel asked his question Yarn Man pulled a .357 Magnum from a concealed pouch in his utility belt. With a fair amount a trepidation the Colonel got out of the vehicle with his new buddy.

“Lock and load, Baby!” exclaimed Yarn Man as he jumped out of the Hummer. His side kick Yarn Dog only whimpered as she followed her slightly touched master.

“Hey I heard that Dude.” whined Yarn Man who had still not learned to not argue with the dashing narrator.

Monday, November 06, 2006


World Knitting News III

Flash Davenport, Iowa, United States – Army of Jpop Rockettes destroy Country and Hip Hop music indiscriminately. Diddy and Keith Urban vow revenge.

London, England – A rather large scarf is found on a Double Decker bus for no apparent reason.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States - El blogger loco escribe esta entrada en español por ninguna buena razón.

Kiev, Ukraine – Nothing even remotely having to do with knitting happened here today.

Adelaide, Australia – Mayoral candidate is disqualified not because she is a really a sheep but because she is not old enough to run.

Lima, Peru – Gang of Grannies is caught sheering neighbor’s Llamas with out permission. They are sentenced to six months hard labor in a Cody Spun Factory.

Havana, Cuba – Adoring Cubans knit Fidel a cigar cozy.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Viewer Mail 3

In response to my comment about someone that was rude on another blog, some stated they hoped it was not them. Well it was not you.

What is your nick name? This was a rather long message that I boiled down to this short question. They gave me several suggestions for the short version of Zeeppo. Well other clowns call me Z. Several of the Knitting Bloggers call me Zeep or Zep. I suppose those that know me best use Z I don’t know if that makes it right or not. This person was worried that they were offending me by using a shortened version of Zeeppo. On that front I was never offended. To be honest this is the most that I have thought about the subject.

What color is your clown Hair? Royal Blue, although the make up scheme I have been using while clowning with my church has white hair.

Do you have big Clown shoes? Yes, I would post a picture if I could.

Can you juggle and if you can what is you favorite thing to juggle? Yes I can and Chainsaws.

Have you ever knit on a knitting machine? Yes, I have an ultimate sweater machine. And I used an old Brothers machine in the Circus.

Does your wife knit? No she Crochets.

Well thank you for your questions I always enjoy answering them. Please email me at or post your question on the blog.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

No Comics Today

I can't get blogger to post pictures. Perhapse they should spend some time serving the site for the customers they have. Well anyway that was not nice. As soon as I am convinced that Blogger Beta is not going to crash I may move the blog over there.

And dag nabbit it was part three of Mr. Coffee Nerves this week. I just had to know if theyfound the kid misplaced by the neglectful parent who was strung out on coffee. How can blogger be so cruel?

be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Secret Jpop Plan to Take Over Midwest

Hard to beleive this is the face of true knitting evil.

New Visitor & Spanish Blogs

Had our second visitor from Iran. Well that earns a flag button. I wonder what kinds of things get knitted in Iran. Well welcome to the party, such as it is.

On another subject. I am having a hard time finding these button things. If anyone knows where the original source for them is I would like to know. I also had several people from Sweeden this weekend. And their's was the last button that I was using from from the photobucket website. Having it in blogger should make it sit in the list properly.

I also posted a section for Spanish blogs. The first is a multi person blog that has many members that are in the Madrid area. I have always wanted to visit Marid. It is yet another place that was thriving when my Scottish Ancestors were painting themselves blue. I do have my eye on a couple more.

Yo no se terminos que hacen punto en espanoles. Mi espanol es terrible. No hablo espanol en tres anos, mi espanol esta oxidado. Tambein no tengo accentos y tildes. Neccicitos ayudo por los accentes y tildes en blogger.

Sea seguro hacia fuera allí y guarde su palillo en el hielo.

A Random Project

This is a felted Needle Case that I have been working on. This is lousy picture still you get the basic gist of it.
Blogger is not letting me change my template at the moment, nor is it letting me post pictures. It would be nice if they would fix this thing. I suppose it will be messed up all weekend.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Welcome Aboard Russia

I wanted to take a moment to welcome my first couple visitors from the Russian Federation. I have two favorite tea biscuts. And one of them is from Russia. I have no idea what they are called. They have chess peices on them and the packaging. I am eating a couple right now. Thank you Russia.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Some Stray Notes

Blogger is giving me heck about posting pictures. It was all I could do to post a picture of Rabbit. I also had a picture of a freaky project from the sixties. Well it will have to wait. As will pictures from the secret pal and of my latest projects. Is Blogger becoming so popular that it is growing faster than it can handle? Well I am sure I could ramble on about this but I digress.

I would like to take a moment to recognize some brave people out there. First are the people of the Hockey Knitter’s Knitalong. Firstly, I am a Penguins fan as you might guess. This was hard when spending time in Canada. Especially the years they won the Stanley Cup. Hockey is like crack for some Canadians. And knitting is like crack for some women and a couple men. I am very fearful of my first encounter with a hockey loving Canadian knitter. This could be very scary. Still, I am a Pittsburgher and more importantly a Master Clown that has survived a long term relationship with a Quebecois who was not a Penguins fan. I learned more naughty French words when the Canadians were loosing then in all my years in the Circus. So I will be brave. Still, if you do not hear from me it is because an irate Leafs fan got to me because they are not doing so well. And I cannot help but mention it should be the Toronto Maple Leaves.

Next up are the people at the Scarf Style Knit Along. For long term readers of this blog you will know that I have been known to knit a scarf or two. I also like the scarf style book that I picked up a while ago. I have not read the Wrap Style Book yet. I will have to pick it up. I think my wife will finally let me knit her something and I think she is hinting at a wrap.

The last couple brave people do not know they are being brave. First is the blog “What is Cluttering my Couch”. I think she is from Utah and has some really cool things she is knitting. She just finished a flapper hat.

There is also Carrieoke’s Knitting Blog. She appears to have a really popular knitting blog. It looks as if it a stand along website. Now that is a serious knitting blogger. Beside that she is cute as a button and dressed like Alice from Alice in Wonderland.

I wonder if I should be asking these people is they want linked to this page.

I would like to note that the Turks, French and Germans have moved up in my ranking of nations.

Finally I reluctantly want to end on a sour note. I have been posting on a blog that had some really specific rules that were in a submenu that I did not read when I joined. The few rules that I did read were stated on the introduction screen. A rather snarky person attacked me for following the less stringent guides. My first thought was to stop posting on that blog. My second thought was that was how that sort of person gets their way. I might have respected them had they posted their concern politely. And secondly if they had taken credit for their comment.

It is very easy to not take responsibility for what you are saying. The internet is full of loonies that do not take responsibility for what they say. Why should the knitting world be any different. I know that I post on this blog with the anonymity that comes with my clown name. Those who know me understand why. Still, I would never criticize someone for something that they are doing.

Even in the situations when I have come across something that is truly unpleasant I have not been rude about it. Nor have I quietly attacked it just to be rude.

So Cats and Kittens the moral of the story is to be nice to those around you. If you see someone doing something wrong, be nice to them. They may simply be someone that has only been blogging a short time and does not know to turn over every stone to figure out all of the rules.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice.

Rabbit Day - Rabbit

Rabbit is possibly most responsible rabbit that I have featured thus far. Rabbit has been fighting one of the most dangerous forces of our time, Winnie the Pooh. For decades "the Pooh" has been leading little children astray with his unquenchable thirst for honey. This addict is willing to put anyone including children into danger. Rabbit is one of the few character in the woods that sees him for what he is, an uncontrollable feind who would willingly kill any of them to achieve his goal, Honey.

Don't let the fairy tale style telling of the Winnie the Pooh stories lead you astray. They are about a horrific underworld were children and small animals are used to prop a an evil drug addicted despot. I implore the mothers that read this blog, do not let that fuzzy bear into your house. Read through the lines and listen to Rabbit's warning. Keep the kids away from the Pooh.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Yarn Man and the Case of the Japanese Army of Cute Little Jpop Rocketts

On a rather large island in the Mississippi River stood the Rock Island Arsenal directly across from Davenport Iowa. The base’s commander Colonel Don Molson looked out over the mighty Mississippi to the smoldering city of Davenport. The island had already been locked down as reports of an armed militia in the city made the local news media. The Mayor of Davenport has already call the colonel looking for support. Helpless to do anything he only has 250 military personal. The rest of his base was made up of civilians who operated the military production powerhouse. He had requested a squadron of fighters and contingent of attack helicopters from near by Scott Air Force Base.

“Sir, the Scott County SWAT Team has engaged the force along Kimberly Ave. They tore up a housing project demanding to know where the yarn is.” stated the Colonel’s assistant Lt. Gary as he rattled off the report from the local police.

“What kind of transport are they using?” asked the Colonel trying to get a clear picture of the situation.

“They are using heavily armored busses. They are decorated in bright colors and have Japanese symbols on them.”

The Colonel decided that they were probably not a threat to the Arsenal. Still, why would they attack a Housing Project.

“Get my driver and a fully armed squad, I want to see this for myself.”

As the insurrection in Iowa continued we return to our Hero as he and Michael Caine installed machine guns on the Yarn Jet. As they went about their work the jumbotron computer screen activated stating there was a priority message coming in.

Yarn Man’s Butler played by Michael Caine stood up and walked over to a control council. Typing in a few characters he revealed a dignified Japanese gentleman sitting in a board room.

“How can we help you Mr. Chairman.?” asked Caine recognizing him as the Chairman of Clover Needlecraft Incorporated.

“Yarn Man, we had a theft last night..”

“David Arqutte pulled himself out from under the jet. As any good superhero would he was in full costume while sitting around his secret lair. His pink jump suit clashed with dark caved as he walked toward the large screen.

“What did they take?’ he asked allowing his keen investigation technique take over.

“They stole a new motorized version of the Wonder Knitter. It is Titanium and capable of knitting 52 meters of icord a minute.”

“Wow that must be an incredible gadget.” stated Yarn Man in awe of the new device.

“Yes, it is most powerful knitting gadget we have created thus far. We are fearful what might happen if it falls into the wrong hands.”

“I will get right on it Mr. Chairman.”

“Thank you Yarn Man, you are our only hope.” at that the screen went blank.

As Yarn Man began to contemplate where the stolen item might be. Michael Caine began to search for clues on the internet.

“Perhaps the Auddi Turbo people stole it to catch up with their competition.” suggested Caine as his brilliant mind looked for possible solutions.

“At least the narration had improved in this story.” continued the brilliant British Actor.

“Yeah, but should the characters really be able to hear the narrator? question the slightly dull Yarn Man.

“Not cool, Dude.” simpered the girly Yarn Man.

“I find it is best if you do not argue with the narrator.” suggested Caine with another brilliant deduction.

“Well the Narrator does not hate you.” cried our super hero unsure of his masculinity.

“You see what I mean.” as Arquette simpered the alarm on the jumbotron went off again.

Caine looked over to the screen and hit the button to receive the massage. The screen flickered to life with the image of a police officer standing in a busy squad room.

“Yarn Man, I am Captain Leroy Roberts of the Davenport Police Department. We have a situation.”

“What is wrong Captain?” asked the pink clad hero.

“An army of Japanese Androids are attacking Davenport. They tore apart a housing project and tired up three street gangs with some sort of knitted rope our experts call icord.”

“I will be right there Captain.”

As Yarn Man prepared to take off for Iowa Colonel Molson and his troops arrived near where the Android Army had first attacked. The street had been torn up and the destruction centered around a record store.

The Colonel walked toward the record store that was surrounded by debris and destroyed cars. Paramedics were cutting down the last of the gangland victims. As he walked toward the record store he picked up something that first appeared to be rope. Upon closer inspection it was something knit out of wire. Flanked by well armed troops he entered the destroyed shop.

The store’s owner sat crying in his hands as and EMT tried to calm him down. Above the desk were the remnants of the wire used to tie him up.

“What happened here?” demanded the Colonel. The distraught store owner looked up.

“I don’t know man. These little Japanese girls came in here and started tearing up the Hip Hop Section. They used a flame thrower on the Country Music section and tied me up. They sang me a song and left those CDs.

The Colonel picked up one of the CDs. It said it was from a group named Morning Musume. The Colonel couldn’t read Japanese, still, it was clear that it was a Japanese girl band.

“What could they possibly want?” He murmured to himself.

Blogger is being mean and did not let me post yeasterday. I do not know why they persicute me so. And by the way this is for all the people that dressed up as clowns this halloween. I dressed as a normal person.
Follow me at zeeppo on the twitter gizmo