Teaching Classes, And why Clowns are Right and you are all Wrong

A supper busy weekend on the Knitting Front. I don’t know where to start. Well I will get to the World Male Knitting Domination thing in a bit.

Firstly a great day was had at Knitting For Charity Today. Our Phantom Young man and his entire family was able to join us today. The Phantom knitter helped out with knitting Squares for the Knitking. Much was accomplished today. There was a new young lady who is working on a hat for us. She had been knitting for less than a week.

I am always glad to see new knitters joining the knitting community.

Has any one heard the new Sunny Sweeny song “If I could” How cute is that? If you are not into country it is still a good song. It is definitely a country song and not this rock and roll with a twang that is popular these days. It is nice to see someone making some actual country music.

And who is that guy in the “Say it Right” song from Nelly Furtado? I want to hear some of his music. I suppose the Yahoo music thing is sending me off track.

Back to knitting. The most boring sock obsession continues. I am onto a cotton pair of black socks. These are in a DK weight yarn on 6mm DP. By the way three people have sent me emails about why I rotate my needles as I do socks. The most popular reason is to prevent laddering, the gaps that sometimes develop while using double points. I suppose clowns have been right about knitting all along. Sorry everyone else you are wrong.

Also on the same subject of clowns being right and everyone else wrong. I am sick of remembering American sizes for the purposes of this blog. The Americans, Canadian, Brits and Japanese are all wrong. I will not go into great detail why you are all wrong. You know in your heart of hearts why that is.

I will put it this. The Americans are smoking pot. Our system is silly, still, makes sense if you are on pot.

The Japanese I have no idea what you are doing, a 4.8 mm needle what were you thinking? At lease you start at a small number and go to larger numbers. Still, You go to millimeters in the larger sizes. You should have stuck with the increasing numbers. Your system makes sense if you are dropping acid.

Ah Britannia home of my ancestors. What can I say. Large numbers to small numbers and then to the Zero thing. Hey I know the American do it with the small 2mm and lower. Still, those 2mm people are sadists anyway. They should have their own confusing knitting system. I know you based your needles on the size of wire the needles were made from. And rail road tracks are the same gauge of the wagon wheels left by Roman Chariots. Sometimes a specification must die for the sake of progress. I could go on for hours. I will leave it at this. The British system makes sense if you are smoking crack and someone hits you as hard as they can with a cricket bat. And I mean with the skinny edge of the bat so it cracks your skull. You know so the air hits you brain and messes with your mind. Like Trepanation only with a big crack in the head.

Hmmmmmmmm…… I wonder what the original point of this entry was. Well I forgot what it was. So I shall continue as if I had a point.

I did consider a clown system for naming knitting needles. 0 would be a quarter millimeter and the numbers would go up every quarter millimeter. I gave it up because it would be too mind blowingly simple. And yes I know no one uses a .25 millimeter needle. Still, with the popularity of knitting still not plataueing it is only a matter of time. And if someone makes a sixty millimeter needle then you will already have the size. You will not have to make it up.

Well I will leave the needle thing alone for the moment. I may start scratching out the sizes on my needle and writing in the new clown size. Imagine how long that would have been if I really spent some time thinking about it

News of news the good people at Knit 1 are going to let me teach knitting classes. I will be teaching classes aimed at men and machine knitting classes. Good times will be had by all. I will post when I have the schedule from Knit 1. I am turning in the class out lines in on Tuesday. I imagine there will be schedules once I make a couple samples from their lovely yarn. I hope the people at Red Heart will understand. It is nothing personal. You will always have the best place in my stash. Remember “Red Heart Means that Someone Loves You.” They just may not like you very much.

I suppose this is where the male domination of the knitting world comes in. It is nice to finally be making some progress. I realize men dominate most things on this planet. And for the most part I think we have done alright. Well there are all of those wars and other silly things. Still, no one is perfect.

I would like to thank all of the people who thought I could dominate the knitting world. Alright so the only ones that encouraged me in this are woman. And the person that is going to let me teach the classes is a woman. Well it is not really male domination.

Be safe out there and keep your stick on the ice. And go Pens.